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People ask me about lyrics a lot.  I don’t think, I just do it.  Theses lyrics exist somewhere between completely fucking honest and completely over the top. The place where the truth becomes absurd.

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PAST LIFE MARTYRED SAINTS (2011)

EMA all rights reserved

GREY SHIP

when you see that ship it is the ship you can see
when the grey ship calls it is a callin for me

I thought it would come
I thought it would come from further North than that

blue sky is silver blue sky is grey
when the grey ship calls I am leaving today
I thought it would come
I thought it would come

when you see that ship it is the ship you can’t see
all of that calling is calling for me
I thought it would come
I thought it would come come come
I thought it would come from further North than that

(I hear a choir, I hear a symphony)

my mother with soft hands
my sister with none left
my best friend from long time
my mouth full of glass

the strangers with wet hair
my old aunt a spinster
i feel all them calming
I’ve run out of air

I hear all them calling
the pearly gates
we’ve all gone together
we’ve all gone to sleep

I hear a choir, I hear a symphony

great grandmother lived on the prairie
nothin and nothin and nothin and nothin
I got the same feeling inside of me
nothin and nothin and nothin and nothin

CALIFORNIA

fuck california
you made me boring
I bled all my blood out
but these red pants they don’t show that
my old friends though they know that
and when I sold them I sold that
I’m sorry gracie girl ur golden

I’m sorry steven and andrew that I ever left you
you never seen the ocean you never been on a plane
schizophrenia rules the brain aliens coming to take you away
you’re still my favorite
past life martyred saint
gimme the places I’ll give you the names
wasted away alone on the plains
what’s it like to be small-town and gay?
fuck it baby I know you’ll never change

so hold me down but I got it
quick hit to the face
soft blow to the mouth
on Christmas Morning

You’re bleeding from the fingertips
you rubbed me raw you rubbed me wrong
and I heave when I think of you

Oh! California

Now you’ve corrupted us all with your sexuality
tried to tell me love was free tried to tell me love was free
us and them baby you you you you you and me

oh love! in the time of scandal
love in the form of tragedy
love so much so real so fucked
it’s 5150

but I’m just 22 and I don’t mind dyin

what does failure taste like?
to me it tastes like dirt
and I’m beggin you please to look away

I bet my money on the bob-tail nag,
somebody bet on the bay

I saw Joseph carrying the gun
I saw Mary carrying the gun
the gun the gun the gun
the gun carrying the gun
I saw Grandpa carrying the gun
I saw Grandma carrying the gun
the gun the gun the gun
the gun carrying the gun

I used to carry the gun
I used to carry the gun

the gun the gun the gun
the gun carrying the gun

ANTEROOM

I am in the room
I am in the anteroom
I can sense the ghost in the machine
No one has to shriek and
No one has to worry now
I will get exactly what’s coming to me

Take it once
I’ll be fine
You know me
I’ll be fine

Said he was a fag but
you know he was a pretty man
Don’t you know they all look pretty to me?
Reach your finger out
Touch it while it’s cold
No one left to see
Nothing left to hold

If this time through we don’t get it right
I’ll come back to you in another life

MILKMAN

dumb dumb
my lips are numb
my tongue is blazin
my tongue is plumb
need you
come inside
I’m gaspin
I’m gaspin
I’m gaspin
I’m gaspin
your eyes
with your eyes

He’s the Milkman
He brings you your milk
He can see through
all your charms and still

I’m gaspin
I’m gaspin

Comes at morning
he comes in the dawn
eyes can see you
barefoot on the lawn

He’s the milkman
He knows what you do
Gives it to you
But I can see right through

I’m gaspin

CODA

they say love turns to rot
but i’m gonna (you gotta)
give him (it) all i (you) got
when you showed up at that spot
I almost threw up on the spot
and I wish I had another hole
to (give, give) get it out
these drugs they are making me so sad
and I I can’t stop taking them
this night it is makin me so sad
I looked on the computer
and it just was an EMPTINESS
that made me want to throw up on the spot

MARKED

My arms they are a see through plastic
My arms are a secret bloodless, skinless mass

My arms they are a see through plastic
they’re a bloodless plastic skinless plastic

My arms they are see-through plastic
they are, glass

don’t you know that I would never hurt you
you are such a pretty thing

I know I wish sometimes just so I could explain things
explain things

I wish that every time he touched me left a mark
I wish that every time he touched me left a mark
I wish that every time he touched me left a mark
I wish that every time he touched me left a mark

I fell down in the dark
Don’t you start
I through down for my love
I almost threw up on the spot
when you showed up in the top
I almost threw up on the spot
And I want just to get it out
get it out

I wish I had another hole to get it out
(trepanation)

These drugs they are making me so sad
I can’t stop taking them
This night it is making me so sad

and if there was a way to get it out I wanna get it out
if there was a way to get it out I wanna get it out

BREAKFAST

(I can’t stop I won’t stop I can’t
stop I won’t stop I can’t stop)

mama’s in the bedroom don’t you stop
mama’s in the bedroom don’t you stop
mama’s in the bedroom don’t you stop

Little picture and a piece of cloth
you can be there when it comes right off

Big Fat Breakfast
Big Fat Bluebird

you feel just like a breeze to me

BUTTERFLY KNIFE

you were the goth in high school
you cut and fucked your arms up
you always talked about it
they thought you’d never do it
you had two pet rabbits
named mickey and mallory
i been inside your bedroom
i got the same scars you see
you were the goth in high school
you cut and fucked your arms up
you always talked about it
they thought you’d never do it
but i knew i knew i knew i knew someday…

night
colors red beneath moonlight
c’mon look me in the eye
20 kisses with a butterfly knife

child
take the hair and turn it white
kids beget kids tonight
we’ll never tell
we’ll never fight

shy
only god can make it right
in the desert underneath the light it’s
20 kisses with a butterfly knife

take the hair and turn it white
take the hair and turn it white
in the desert underneath the light
20 kisses with a butterfly knife

RED STAR

a boy, beautiful beautiful
eyes of green

mouth like the sun
eyes of green

mouth burned my tongue
like a red star
like a red star
but his eyes were green

got a strange fascination
i been holdin on the one
for that straight revelation
i been holdin on too long

but i’m sick of waiting
round this birdhouse
for enough flesh wounds to make a kill

i know nothing lasts forever
and if you won’t love me someone will

like a red star
like a bruised scar

***

GOWNS’ RED STATE (2007)

FARGO

i can see that blue room in fargo north dakota
with an american flag draped over a basement window

it’s a soldier’s room, got sent away

we stayed up for days in the summer…

on merazine
and ephredine
and benadryl
dramamine
and ketamine
and nyquil

dextromethorphan hydrobromide

and the light shining in through the window was golden
and the days stretched out as far as the horizon
and you could see the dust float like sparkles in the air

ROPE

i’ve seen the sound of angles

i’ve heard the sound their wings
he said that i was judgement
you know i’m everything

i’ve heard the sound of trumpets
you know the sight their wings
he said that we are judgement
you know we’re everything

i’ve seen that light

i’ve seen that light above me baby
and the rope
i’ve seen that hole above me baby
and the rope

i’ve heard ‘em calling calling
i’ve heard it 6 below
i’ve heard em calling calling calling calling calling calling calling
i’ve seen the light above me baby and the rope
i’ve that hole above me baby and the rope

(we are the rope)

i know the side of angels
the terror in their wings
the slow drown of a life worth living
the bite of wedding rings
the weight of a beautiful home
you’re looking down that long hallway
it’s white. you can see it,
but what does it say?

WHITE LIKE HEAVEN

was it white like heaven or dark like space?

was it bright like god or ace black spades?

i was sitting
i was sitting at the table and suddenly i could see it
and it was just like the movie and i couldn’t move
cuz i could see the cracks in everything
in every little thing

and it was like the time that we were in your car
i was sick
i was on drugs
you were smoking pot
and we were driving

we were driving
we were driving
and suddenly i could see it
i could see it
i could feel it and…
i saw the world break open
i could see all of it

i could see for thousands of miles in every direction
every direction
looking up
looking out
and i saw thirty seconds turn into 10,000 years
and it was horrible

i saw the man outside walking his dog mowing his lawn
and the kids out in the yard
and i knew right then that she was gonna have another baby
let it grow up in front of the tv
eat maccaroni and cheese

and the dog will bark in the yard on a chain
and the kid will huff gasoline and rape a girl while she’s passed out on the sofa years and years and years later

and i know that i could never stop it even if i tried

even if i wanted to
even if i wanted to

and i really, really, really wanted to.

and is it white like heaven or dark like space
is it bright like god or ace black spades

CLAWLESS

you were clawless, fangless

you were the only thing a gambler needs

you were flawless entertainment
you were the apple falling from the leaves

when every body gathered round him
you were the only one left to believe

you were clawless and fangless

ADVICE
(cheryl henke)
i think that people like her, me, you–if we don’t have something that gives us some joy, that gives us some creativity, that gives us some outlet, you will become an addict. and it isn’t the dumb people that it happens to. yeah, there’s a lotta fuckin’ losers out there, who smoke pot every day and they’re yo-yo. but there’s some brilliant minds out there that have been destroyed and mine was one of them. i mean i’m still here, but oh! what i could have done erika! i pictured myself standing up on a podium talking to thousands of people, and being inspired to say the right things, that they would hear me.

CHERYLEE

she is crying at the kitchen table
saying i can’t stand to think about
the way i let those men touch me
i can’t stand to think about
the way they touched me
i can’t even see their faces anymore
but i can’t stop thinking about
the way they had seen me
oh can’t stop thinking that i should’ve been waiting for you the whole time
if i’d known you were coming into my life
i would have been waiting for you the whole time

you gotta look it in the eyes and say that i don’t believe
you gotta hold it underwater so you’ll see where it bleeds
you gotta stare into the mirror until you name this disease
you gotta know

you gotta write down all your symptoms even though it’s obscene
you gotta stay there under water till you get yourself clean
you’ve gotta keep on going till you feel finally free

you gotta look it in the eyes and say that i don’t believe
you gotta look up at the water till you can’t hardly see
you gotta keep on walking you’ll forget about me
you’ve gotta know